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Types of Discipline
Just Say No
Anger Management Class
Although different people have differing ideas about discipline, it can be valuable to hear what the great minds of yesterday had to say on the ...
The greatest difference between discipline and self-discipline is that discipline is external and self discipline is mostly ...
Self Discipline Tips
Self discipline is not a trait, it’s a skill and you need it to succeed at almost anything in ...
How To Say No Nicely
The ability to be both kind and firm when dealing with children is especially important when it comes to discipline ...
How To Deal with Angry Kids
Most parents know that there is little point in descending into a yelling match with an angry child or surly ...
Teenage Cooperation & Discipline
Positive discipline and teenagers can be a confusing mix. During adolescence is the time when most teens start trying to find out who they are and often drift away from spending a lot of time with their parents. Good positive discipline can help parents educate and support their teens with mutual respect, however many parents attempting to discipline their teens often make things worse instead of better. If parents can get a handle on using non-punitive positive discipline tools, they will be much more able to avoid conflicts with their teens and instead, motivate them to cooperate and desire do better on their own.
Unfortunately, for many parents, cooperation means little more than "Do what I tell you to do." .This approach can lead to power struggles and rebellion, because teens that have not been taught to use their own power in useful ways are not likely to be very cooperative on their own. In order to get cooperation, parents and teachers need to create an environment where teens are teenagers are actively involved in creating plans and guidelines and brainstorming for solutions. The goal is to encourage teens to strengthen their sense of self image through self control instead of through resistance and rebellion against being controlled by their parents.
There are many different reasons teens lack motivation to cooperate and do what their parents want them to. When parents nag their teens, it often creates more resistance and the kids end up feeling only conditionally loved. This can create negative feelings and they might even fail on purpose to get even as a result. It is certainly not a good exercise in discipline and cooperation.
Another common mistake parents make with teens is to not allow them to learn from their failures. Teens will better learn to be responsible and motivated if they are allowed to fail and learn what they could do differently in the future to get a different outcome. Because failure is an excellent motivator, the parent’s job is to allow the teens to fail and then help them explore the results of their actions. Teens are all too often told what to do instead of being invited to come up with a solution that works for everyone on their own. Teens are far more likely to cooperate and follow a routine they helped create themselves.
Even though teens might be more motivated to follow plans they helped create, parents need to be both kind and firm after a plan or action has been agreed upon. If the kids slack off and forget their agreements, it is just as easy to give them a “kind” reminder as it is to criticize them and invite a power struggle. It is important that parents remember to focus on the long-range results of positive discipline instead of the short term results that may actually undermine your teen’s efforts to do their best because they are too involved in rebelling against your authority.
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