Positive Discipline & Kids

​Positive discipline focuses on the positive points of behavior modification as relates to raising happy and healthy children. Adherents of positive discipline believe that that there are no bad children, just good and bad behaviors. The fundamental premise of positive discipline is that it is possible to teach and reinforce good behaviors while reducing the bad behaviors without injuring a child verbally or physically. In this way, positive discipline can result in happier children that are more self-confident and perform tasks better, especially at school.
 
The theory of positive discipline is based on principles of human behavior that include the notion that all people and children deserve dignity and respect. The philosophy of maintaining dignity and respect must be established before any type of negative result or punishment like a time out period can be effective at all. Instead of an experience that creates humiliation and loss of dignity and respect, time out can actually be an experience that can help kids develop normally.
 
Psychologists long ago figured out that children who misbehave are discouraged children. This means they need encouragement so they won't feel the need to act out and misbehave. Shame and humiliation are ineffective discipline tools and only serve to make a child feel more discouraged and more motivated to misbehave. Shame and humiliation have also proven to be very poor motivators. Specialists like pediatricians, psychiatrists, and social workers have proven that spanking, paddling, or humiliating children can create long-term damage to children that is far more harmful than any immediate gains obtained through controlling behavior with punishment. That would be like claiming that you need to make children feel worse about themselves before they will do better. Of course, the opposite notion that children do better when they feel better, not when they are discouraged about themselves, is the theory most modern behaviorists now subscribe to. The theory also makes it imperative that positive discipline as applied to time out periods for kids must be used to help children feel better, not to make them feel worse.
 
Normal, healthy children are born feeling capable and if they are not allowed to struggle a bit as they learn new skills they may end up thinking they are not capable and that others can do most things much better than they can. Children who grow up with this limiting belief will not feel capable of learning new things and will have a hard time taking responsibility on their own. It is the parents and educators that have the responsibility of helping nurture and guide children to develop their own sense of capability.
 
Positive Discipline Tools for Kids:
 
* Don’t do things for children that they can do for themselves.
 
* Believe in your children’s capabilities and have faith that they are capable of accomplishing most things by themselves.
 
* Don’t jump in front of every task with an offer to help. Allow your children to ask for some help instead of jumping in whenever they look like they are struggling.  This will give them the dignity to be capable of performing tasks alone.
 
* Assign tasks that will allow your child to contribute to the family effort in a meaningful way instead of just giving them stuff to do that keeps them busy and out of your way.
 
* Trust that mistakes can be opportunities to learn and that children feel better when they’re part of the solution. When a mistake is made, acknowledge it and ask them to help you find a solution to repair the mistake.
 
* Remain positive. Tell your kids you have faith in their capabilities and that you know they can and will eventually find a solution for every problem.